Painful Turds

For me, there’s nothing more delightful than turning to my guests at the end of a meal and asking, "Who's up for a Painful Turd?"

As soon as the question leaves my lips, my guests practically rise out of their chairs in anticipation. (Or is that the result of broccoli backwind?) In any case, Painful Turds are as much a part of caker culture as−

Okay, okay. They’re not called Painful Turds. I made that up. They’re really called Chow Mein Noodles Chipit Crunchies. But my name is just so much more…visually appropriate, don’t you think?

Don’t let appearances fool you, though. These delicious drops have been a popular fixture at caker bake sales for years. And they're as easy to make as JELL-O. Just make sure you use the crunchy chow mein noodles and not the soft kind. After all, no one likes a soggy turd.

12 ounces chocolate chips

12 ounces butterscotch chips

2 cups peanuts

2 cups chow mein noodles

Melt chocolate and butterscotch chips slowly in pan. Stir, then add noodles and peanuts. Mix thoroughly, then drop by spoonful on waxed paper. Chill, then pack in sealed container.

Source: Birr United Church Treasured Recipes, 2002